Judge Halts Berlusconi Photos Release: The Concept of Mistresses, Arranged Marriages and Romantic Love

Further to my previous Report, a Judge has ruled the Belusconi Photos could not be Published. But since there was much attention given to Belusconi's supposedly 10 various "Mistresses", but no mention of his wives "dalliance" with the Mayor of Venice, it seemed appropriate to educate those unfamiliar with the European custom of "Mistresses".

Most ancient societies needed a secure environment for the perpetuation of the species,a system of rules to handle the granting of property rights, and the protection of bloodlines. The institution of Marriage handled these needs.

Throughout history, and even today, families Arranged Marriages for couples. The people involved didn't and don't have much to say about the decision. Most couples didn't marry because they were in love but for economic liaisons. Some marriages were by proxy, some involved a dowry (bride's family giving money or presents to the groom or his family), some required a bride price (the groom or his family giving money or a present to the bride's family), few had any sort of courtship or dating, but most had traditions.

However is was not until the Twelfth century that troubadours introduced the notion of Romantic Love. "Love" is one of the most ambiguous and flexible words in the English language. It means so many different things that we cannot be sure what someone means when they use the word "love". "Romantic love" is somewhat more narrow than simply "love", but we often lack precise meanings when we use it.
The Romantic Love Test: How Do We Know if We Are in Love? A test of 180 questions, organized into 26 sections. http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/Q&A-800.html

I actually took a "Marriage" course in college, and was stunned to be instructed that "Love" was 22nd on the List of Reasons people Marry.
A little disconcerting, but part of the reason that there is a 50% divorce rate, plus Love is Fickle. :(

Arranged Marriages, Finding "The One"

Examiner.com

Rita Watson

June 1 2009

The excuse for mistresses or comares is arranged marriages at an early age. Men often say, "Our parents chose our wives, we choose our mistresses."

But here is a thoughtful look at the tradition of arranged marriages by Leo Buscaglia often considered the "love guru". He believes that we spend too much time in our search for "the one."

SEE: "Loving Relationships by Leo Buscaglia" a 6 minute video, Entertaining and Informative.

http://www.examiner.com/x-2108-Love-and-Marriage-Examiner~y2009m6d1-Italian-marriage-a-man-his-mistress-and-finding-the-one

Aunt Agatha and the comares

My great Aunt Agatha prided herself on being married for 75 years and she had a diamond ring on each finger - gifts to her for allowing Guiseppe his afternoon "exercise."

We often asked her why she had so many diamonds and she would say, "Some day, you will understand."

Then as each of us married she took us aside and told us this story, which we began to hear often as she hit her 80's. "This was for your Uncle Guiseppe's exercise in Sicily. This for his exercise in Naples. These two, for the Marchietta twins -- Santa Maria, Santa Maria. Enough. Silencia” she would say and then go off to her kitchen.

She had a diamond for each comare through the years and 10 children who will fiercely defend their father just as the Italian PM's children are defending their father and suggesting that the scandal is politically motivated.

If you asked Aunt Agatha why she never left him during all those years of philandering, her eyes would fill with tears and she would say, "because he was the one, my one and only."

http://www.examiner.com/x-2108-Love-and-Marriage-Examiner~y2009m6d1-Italian-marriage-a-man-his-mistress-and-finding-the-one